At the local pool, I like to swim breaststroke keeping my head out of the water - as I’m an incurable sticky-beak – and watch people and wonder. There’s lots of interesting things to see at the pool. People who act like they are Olympic swimmers, women who flaunt their perfect bodies to us less perfect but much smarter ones, the breed of people who wear swimming goggles in and out of the water and who look like giant bugs, the swim coach who yells at the kids to keep their ‘legs straight’ or he'll make ‘em do sit ups (wanker) and then there are budgie smugglers. I’m quite fascinated at the amount of men who wear budgie smugglers – Speedos – it amazes me. The thing is they’re scary. All that – manhood - love muscle as some flowery individuals like to call it - or cock and balls as we less flowery types would say - contained in one brief piece of lyrca. I find it mind boggling. I can’t see how that bit of fabric can support a penis and the accompanying equipment. Think of a bra – it keeps boobs from bouncing around and taking out an eye. It supports and controls. I don’t want to see a penis out of control at the pool. What was Mr Speedo thinking when he came up with the budgie smuggler? It gives me much pause for thought as I analyze, purely for scientific purposes, the men who walk by wearing them. One size does not really fit all in this case.When I’m not contemplating Mr Speedo’s folly, I am swimming and thinking things like can a vampire go swimming? Is chlorine a natural aphrodisiac? Is it possible to have sex coming down the water slide? Should I try and beat the clock and swim really hard and fast or maybe just do several underwater handstands? It’s quite exhausting being me.
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Be daring...read an Amarinda book
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