Miss Jones....

“For god sake isn’t every single bloody ménage ebook the exact same? Its fifteen thousand words of in-out, three up two down, Baby oh baby I love you and you and you – please save me from the evil-doer then please shag what little brains I have left out. All of you. Harder. Faster. Now. Yes, bring the horse along too. And we’ll all live happily ever after. It’s like the seven dwarfs discover Snow White’s a girl with whorish tendencies. Yes, yes by all means email me if that upsets you as a writer.”

http://amarindajones.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/rate-it-write-it-trash-it

So, I got an email from…well, let’s call her Lottie Lust. She’s an author who writes ménage and she was kinda pissed at the comment above.

“You have no idea what you are talking about. Not all ménage is the same. Mine aren’t. Miss Jones ménage means sex. I write erotica. Erotica means sex.”

First up – thanks for the email. Secondly, it depends what day of the week it is as to whether I know what I’m talking about. If it’s after boot camp then never. And no, of course your book is different to everyone else who is writing ménage…if you say so. Miss? I prefer Ms. And ménage means sex? I would say bollocks to that. Actually bollocks is as close to sex as ménage is…maybe closer...

menage - a social unit living together;
family, household, home, house
broken home - a family in which the parents have separated or divorced
conjugal family, nuclear family -
a family consisting of parents and their children and grandparents of a
marital partner
extended family - a family consisting of the nuclear family and their blood relatives
foster family - the family of a fosterling
foster home - a household in which an orphaned or delinquent child is placed (usually by a social-service agency)
menage a trois - household for three; an arrangement where a married couple and a lover of one of them live together while sharing sexual relations
social unit, unit - an organization regarded as part of a larger social group;

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/menage

bol·locks
n. Vulgar Slang
1. The testicles.
2. Nonsense.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/bollocks

But hey, opinion is good and if we all agreed on everything there would be peace in the world and that would be bizarre.

As always, I stand by my words.

Not dead...

...just working on ways to get around stupid, anal, prudish rules made up by people who are full of bollocks.

Censorship is bollocks...

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2012/02/legal-censorship-paypal-makes-habit-deciding-what-users-can-read

http://www.scribd.com/doc/83549049/NCAC-ABFFE-Letter-To-PayPal-eBay-re-Ebook-Refusal-2012

"Freedom of speech means that you shall not do something to people either for the views they have, or the views they express, or the words they speak or write." Hugo L. Black, U.S. Supreme Court Justice 1963

Damn straight Hugo...

Conspiracy theory or a load of bollocks?

I say bollocks to the explanation that indie authors and publishers get their books banned or pulled because paypal or credit card companies do not want consumers buying contentious stories yet you can buy dildos, cock rings, vibrators, anal toys and god knows what else with your paypal and credit card. I think it’s always easier to blame someone else. It makes the one who is placing blame look like they have no choice. The vast majority of people in the Western word always have a choice. If you object to something on moral grounds then say it. Don’t hide behind piss weak excuses.

I do believe that the rise of indie authors and publishers is pissing off some people. Too bad, so sad I say. Modern technology gives people – writers – choices. Be confined within the limits of what someone else dictates? Or do what you know and believe is right and in doing so avoid all the bollocks? And banning books or stories? Censorship only enhances the allure of those stories. Thank you so much for that.

Wherever there’s a will, there’s a way.

No, really, you're lopsided...

Okay, so I went and got a haircut. I should point out I had not got around to having one for six months and my resemblance to Cousin It was remarkable. So I went. Now, I have straight, boring brown hair that rests on my shoulders in a bob. It’s weirdly wavy at the back which makes no sense whatsoever and it also makes hairdressers say the same thing every time – “Your hair would be really curly if you had it cut short.” No. Incorrect.

Anyway so I went a training college to have it done because it was cheaper and I’m a great believer in people needing experience and how much can you bugger up straight hair? The answer? A bloody lot as I found out today. Apparently after much cutting the reason it was lopsided – longer one side than the other – was because I was sitting with my legs crossed. That’s what the head trainer said. Now, I was very patient up until this point but my answer to this was ‘Bollocks.’ When I uncrossed them it was still lopsided.

Will I go again? No. I like someone who purports to being charge to actually know something. And blaming the customer? Did I mention bollocks?

Bollocks….

There’s this ad on Brisbane radio that is so sexist and perpetuating the belief that women should try and make themselves attractive to the opposite sex that I wonder who the dickheads are who write this drivel. It’s for an all-female gym. No, not my gym – there’s boys there. And yes, I understand that some women feel more comfortable working out with only women. Now you would think an advert for an all female gym would be about empowerment – to encourage women to get healthy. Oh no. This ad is two dumb arsed men talking about women being foxes and how they like to hunt the ones with ‘great tail.’ Then some inane voice over woman gets all girly and tells women to get the man they want she has to get into shape and be a ‘fox.’ Bollocks.

When the fuck are we going to grow up? Some people are never going to be the ‘perfect’ shape yet you know what? They fall in love and people love them back. You hear the media talking about anorexia and young girls and how ‘it must be stopped.’ Well, it’s pretty simple. A person is not only their body. Their mind, their heart and their soul are what makes people attractive. The best body in the world doesn’t house the greatest heart. When are we ever going to learn? And, more importantly when are women – like this female gym – going to say enough is enough – "come in because you want to feel better and get healthier and if you arse is sagging so what?" If any man cannot see past that then I say that man is not worth the effort.

Great tail? Bollocks. Any man who uses the phrase about a woman is a horse's arse.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book