It just is, baby...

I’ve been thinking of late about what I’m doing, where I want to be, how to get there and who I want in my life. You know, the deep meaningful where-am-I-going-and-will-the-shops-be-open-when-I-get-there-stuff. So does it really matter if I don’t have the arse of a supermodel, the brain of an Einstein and if I have the beginnings of crow’s feet at my eyes? Is the fact that I’m less than perfect but amazingly flawed, plain, average and fallible an issue in the scheme of life? I could be prettier, faster, slimmer and smarter but would it make the journey easier? Do I want easy? I’ve come to believe that I don’t. I like the weird, the difficult, the intense, the bold, the stupid and the painful. I like to feel life – the pain, the passion, the what-the-fuck-moments and know I’ve lived it and said to ‘hell with you’ to the people have said ‘you can’t do that.’ Life…it just is, baby…

It’s been a week….

….where I’ve run and rushed and sat on my arse and pondered life. I’ve eaten healthy yet lusted after the evil of life. I’ve read about censorship, obscenity and dealt was tinpot god bureaucracy and I still believe everything I do is right. Sex is wrong, right, never gonna happen and yet who’s that over there? I’ve lusted, lied and longed for sleep. I’ve been asked ‘why don’t you ever stress out?' I’ve responded that I stressed out in my early life and now nothing can break me. No, you don’t have to understand me nor I you. I’m unique and frigging fearless. I’ve smashed words, watched books strand and romanced e-books. I’ve fixed, manipulated, watched and waited. I’ve been told I look much thinner but as only the overweight can, I only see fat. I am fearless, fantastic and a fatalist. I know what I’ve learned in this life I’ll take to the next and probably bugger up different stuff. I don’t care, I don't know, I don’t need but yes, I’ll have some chocolate please. And the universe’s gift to me? That I am who I am and I would never want to be anyone else – and its Friday….ahhh…how sweet it is. Hoping you are the same...or different...that's up to you.

Port bound....

I am in Port Douglas - http://www.pddt.com.au/ - this weekend. It’s literally just 50 minutes up the road from where I live. Why? I think the picture above says it all. Working at getting it right. Life – work – people – balance – me. Hoping you are the same.

It's huge...

So, I stopped on the way home from work and bought two huge pots of bamboo. Why? Because I could. They were so huge that as I was wheeling the trolley through Bunnings, mega Aussie hardware store, I couldn’t see where I was going cause I’m short and they were huge. I got to the check out and the check out dude said “They’re huge.” Correct. I wheeled them over to Verity, my non huge car, and stopped and thought about the follies of my life. Think big, buy huge then contemplate after the fact how to cart it small. I ended up putting the bamboo in the front passenger seat on the floor. It took up that, part of the back and the windscreen. But I live in Cairns and we drive like cowboys so what the hell. I’ll use the Cairns excuse. It was an interesting drive, me in my small, lime green car, peeking out through bamboo. I told my father about it over the phone. The ex-Viet Nam Special Forces man said “Watch out for Viet Cong.”

Life…it’s huge man.

Wandering off here today…

…Yungaburra - http://www.yungaburra.com/ - first stop the markets to buy fruit/veg, more than likely plants, books and assorted crap that I cannot live without. Then I’m hitting the trail to look at lakes, craters and waterfalls followed by some wildlife spotting and a stay in a local B & B. Life? Get out there amongst it I say.

Old friends...

I was talking to Katie, an old friend – I should clarify that – she’s 11 years younger than me – but oh, an old soul. I have a feeling we’ve met up in several lives and caused amazing havoc together. She hated me on sight and at the time my thoughts about her were something along the lines of ‘stick it in your ear, sister.’ But that changed when we recognized the potential in the other. Anyway, no matter how long since we last spoke, it’s like it was only yesterday. Doncha love people like that? You don’t need to explain yourself or ask them questions. You both just get each other. Priceless. And the battles we fought together – most were righteous but some? Just because we could – I love a good stousch. Count me in.

I was thinking about good, real friends and those we can count on and I realized I could tick them off on the fingers of one hand. I mentioned this to someone else and they agreed. Strange how out of the thousands of people we meet only a handful who we trust. Funny old world.

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.” ~ unknown

Sore back…

…cut hands, bruised legs and aching arms…doncha’ love it when you have time off from paid work? Just a shame I have to go back next week and sit on my arse and shuffle paper while looking like I vaguely care. It’s a hard job but someone has to be adequate at it.

Bone tossing…

So I was feeling a bit down thinking about my younger brother Cameron and that it would have been his 46th birthday today if not for the soul destroying disease of Bi-Polar. And it is a disease that kills many people. Don’t judge or make assumptions until you know…because I don’t think we’ll ever know or understand Bi-polar.

Cameron used to write. We’re a family of scribblers. He was a really excellent writer. A proper writer. He wrote plays. As I often do, I Google his name and the names of his plays. Why? Because those with Bi-polar often don’t think clearly about their rights and legalities. I never find anything – until today. I was gobsmacked to find one of his plays in the Australian National Library. It’s the same play I have a framed wall poster of in my house. I immediately registered to join the library to get that play.

Funny how life throws you a bone when you need it most.

Thanks Cameron.

Phone a friend...

I had this moment yesterday at work when a lot of pukeable things all hit at once and it took every ounce of strength I had not to tell them to go forth and multiply aka fuck off. Anyway, I sucked it up as best I could and I started, once more, to plot an escape plan out of that job. Why? Because I’m worth way more than dealing with idiots. Unfortunately there are beaucoup idiots in business.

Anyway I was down, but not out, and contemplating my next move when a friend called. Just when you think that there’s not a soul on the planet that understands how you think, a simple phone call can make a huge difference in the direction you take and it can put the wind back into your sails. Thank you friend.

This day last year...

…I had just farewelled the movers as they departed with my worldly goods and Patrick, my stoic car, and I were set to hit the road to Cairns that was a bazillion miles away. Patrick was packed to the gills, I had a map, no job to go to and no home to settle in. I was taking a humungous leap of faith leaving the familiar for nothing and the unfamiliar. But that’s the beauty of doing stuff like that. Everyone needs a huge karmic shift in their life so they re-evaluate what they want and where they need to be. Me? I done good. I have an excellent house, have had several jobs since moving up here, aquired two militant budgies and I have met and made friends. Life is what you make it. Change? I like it.

Of geckos and guns...

- It’s nice to wake up to find a gecko in you bathroom sink
- Geckos don’t speak when you chat to them
- Why do I always want to blow my nose once I have my boxing gloves on?
- I don’t think you could successfully pick up a gecko when wearing boxing gloves
- Always be wary of those who tell you you’re a ‘gun’. It indicates a huge volume of work coming.
- Point to the paper cut on your finger when you suspect a huge volume of work coming your way.
- Is sex in the city any different to sex in the country other than wearing Manolo Blahniks?
- Do you ever wonder if Manolo Blahnik would have been as successful if he had a normal name?
- Do you think Paris Hilton and that other chick Lohan are upset that the Kardashian person is taking all the limelight?
- Do plastic people think?
- Can you have sex wearing gumboots?
- I don’t think men give a damn what a woman wears. They’re honest in that they prefer naked.
- Ever notice in a gym change room women are careful not to look at other women when naked?
- I haven’t seen a gecko in a change room. What does that say about gecko living preferences?
- Would Manolo Blahnik ever make shoes for geckos?
- Or designer boxing gloves?
- Naked men are lovely to look at but be careful where you put your hands
- Probaby best to wear boxing gloves with naked men

Things I know on a Sunday morning...

- nothing smells as good as the rainforest

- fish will eat stale white bread
- I can lean on the railings of the bridge and watch said fish for hours

- There were no turtles today. Life is like that. You don’t always get turtles

- The area known as The Rocks has bloody big rocks in the water. Fair enough
- Whomever said ‘life is what you make it’ knew what they were talking about

1 Comment: Anny Cook said....

Everyone is afraid of being hurt...

Yes, but nothing is ever achieved without fear and the possibility of pain. The older I get the more I think 'Fuck it, I'm going for gold.'

Good mate Sandra Cox...

Weird Body Stuff...

Writers and readers deal with the human body all the time, especially inventive erotica writers. So readers and writers, did you know?

Scientists say the more you dream the higher your IQ. (Sigh. I dream so little.)

The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.

You use 200 muscles to take one step.

The average woman is five inches shorter than the average man. (Hmm. I'm out of that category too.)

Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three. A pair of feet contain 250,000 sweat glands.

A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

The human brain cell can hold five times as much information as an encyclopedia. (If mine does, its like a hard drive, when it gets too full it deletes itself.)

It takes food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

The average human dreams last two to three seconds. (I don't buy this one. It takes longer than that to wake me up from a bad one.)

Men without hair on their chest are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair. (Huh?)

At the moment of conception you spent about half an hour as a single cell.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. (Lots of information on feet here.)

Your body gives off enough heat in thirty minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil. (I think males have a better shot at the temperature thing.)

The enamel on your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.

Your teeth start growing six months before you are born.

Your thumb is the same length as your nose.

Since it’s the month of Tricks and Treats, you can get 50% of Vampire Bay by using the code LS73D at Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/72332

All the best,
Sandra Cox
www.sandracox1.com
downtownya.blogspot.com
sandracox.blogspot.com
sevennightwriters.blogspot.com

Wise woman Anny Cook...

Yesterday morning I burned the oatmeal. This is not a new occurrence. Rather it is the norm. My friend Jane and the house hunk don't even find it a subject worth discussing as I always burn the oatmeal. You might ask why make oatmeal if you always burn it? Because I need to eat oatmeal. There's always enough unburned oatmeal to satisfy my needs.

Why does it burn? Mostly because I have too many things going on at one time. I set the timer and then immerse my concentration on some other project to the extent that I don't hear the timer. It burns. I scrape off the top layer and put the pot in the sink to soak. And move on.

Life is pretty full of burnt oatmeal. All those wrong turns and bad choices we make in life have consequences. How we handle the inevitable consequences determines what our life is like. We can wail and gnash our teeth and cry over our burnt oatmeal. We can beat ourselves up or blame some one else for calling us on the phone while our oatmeal was cooking. But the truth is that none of those things really address the fact that we still have burnt oatmeal.

Or we can salvage what we can, put the pan to soak, and move on. There will likely be a lot of pans of burnt oatmeal in our lives. If I waste time obsessing about the burnt oatmeal, that's time I've lost forever. Time I could have put to more constructive use. Oh yeah, and while I'm moaning and groaning the salvaged oatmeal is getting cold. Who wants to eat cold oatmeal?

There are things I can do to "pretty up" my oatmeal. I can add nuts, raisens, peanut butter, brown sugar, nutella, or cream. All of those make the oatmeal more palatable. And unless I tell someone, they'll never know that I burned the oatmeal. See? Life is what you make it--even burnt oatmeal.

Anny Cook
http://www.annycook.com/
Dancer's Delight from Ellora's Cave
Alpheli Solution from Resplendence Publishing
Phantom's Rest from Passion in Print
Simmering Romance with a Smile

Don't worry...be pleased....

I was talking to a very good friend today about happiness. Our conclusion? Well, we didn’t really have one but I’ve pondered this on the way home from work and while I have no definitive answer on happy I do know this –

- Doing what I like when I like pleases me.
- Having good friends who I don’t have to explain myself to is excellent
- Walking along the creek through the rainforest is peaceful
- Being the mistress of my own destiny is empowering
- Being free and able to speak my mind without fear of reprisal is priceless
- Being 47 and fearless is everything I wanted to be when I was 6.
-
All in all, I’m going to go with the doability of pleasure and leave happy to the greeting card companies. You wouldn’t want Hallmark to be unhappy would ya?

Of castles and bandicoots…

I quite enjoyed Paronella Park – see yesterday’s blog if you wonder what it is. It’s quite inspiring to think that one man hand made – literally – piece by piece - the castle of his dreams in the middle of the rainforest.

I learned some stuff from this outing. First up, it consolidated my belief that you should never ever allow anyone to stomp on your dreams, that walking through a caravan park at night, torch in hand, to get to the loo is waaaay too outdoorsy for me and bandicoots and bush turkeys enjoy surprising people like me carrying said torch too much. But seriously, Paronella Park is an excellent life lesson. Dream big and to hell with what anyone else says.

Restless...

You know those days when it’s not about hormones, it’s just you can’t do enough, you couldn’t possibly do less, you’re too fat or thin or ugly or beautiful, you want to get another tattoo and then you think what-the-hell-do-I-want-with-another-tatt-I-should-get-my-belly-button-pierced, you want to go for a walk, you also want to hunker down and watch TV, you want your cake and to eat it too even though it’s so bad for you yet sometimes bad is so damn good that you’re tempted to do something so crazy that you know you’ll regret because you always do, so you think I’ll write or not, clean or not, so you settle for a hair treatment that makes you hair feel good even though it cost a bomb so it would want to feel good but you’re so bloody restless and no one but you and I understand what that’s like because we’re unique and above explaining ourselves because you’re not really sure where to start anyway and then you realize a huge lack of sleep has made you this way and tomorrow if you can just get eight, solid hours of sleep you’ll be just fine dammit…sigh…

The state of play in Amarinda world today...

...the budgies are tweeting and spitting seed everywhere and the sun is shining...can't complain...ok...maybe about the seed spitting thing...

Ah, I see...

I don’t believe in all that greeting card hype of muses. I do believe that some people come into your life for a reason. I believe that being handed the gift of talking to someone who's seen it all and done it all and is no longer surprised by what life throws at them is priceless. Just by the simple act of asking their advice often leads you to where you’re supposed to go.





Yeah, that's about as Zen as I get but thanks you...