On my soapbox…

I wasn’t going to go here but in the last couple of weeks I have heard the term bipolar disorder (the old manic depression) thrown around in such a way that makes me angry. “Oh he/she has to be bipolar to me as they keep changing their minds and I don’t understand what they’re on about” or “he/she is having a bipolar moment.” Yeah, I know people say it without thinking but there are people out there who genuinely have bipolar and I am sick of the term being used as something flippant and disrespectful.

What is Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar Disorder, previously known as Manic-Depression, is characterized by exaggerated mood swings. Bipolar means two poles, or extremes, and if you have bipolar disorder you are likely to have extreme ups and downs. You might experience varying extremes of mania, or up periods, and depression, or down periods - no one is the same.

Mood episodes

Everyone has ups and downs (including those related hormonal changes in adolescence and to the menstrual cycle in females). However, Bipolar Disorder is a medical condition where you have extreme mood swings (or 'mood episodes') widely out of proportion, or totally unrelated, to what's happening in your life. These swings affect your thoughts, feelings, physical health, emotional health, behaviour, and day-to-day functioning. These symptoms can be extremely disruptive to your life. It can also be very disruptive and distressing to your relationships with friends and family.
http://www.reachout.com.au/default.asp?ti=71

Bipolar is about extremes in behaviour – from extreme depression to heightened, almost irrational joy to psychotic, terrifying lows. It’s frightening for the person who has it and hard for the family who loves them because it’s difficult and frustrating to know how to help them.

No, I don’t have bipolar disorder. But I have lived with it and I know the cost of it. My younger brother Cameron had bipolar disorder. Unless you have dealt with it you have no idea how much the person suffers and how little you can help them – it never seems enough. It’s three steps forward and sixteen back. It is a bloody awful mental condition. The lows are so bad that the sufferers constantly overdose to free themselves from pain. The highs are like trying to hold an out of control helium balloon. You never know if you are doing enough to help them and you constantly agonize over it.

You don’t know if the person they think is in their bathroom is real or not because it is likely they have invited a stranger in and you have to deal with it because they can’t. How do you help someone who stiffens with fright and declares there is someone in the back seat of the car is laughing at them? What do you do once having signed them into hospital for treatment they walk out and wander aimlessly with no shoes or money and you endlessly search for them and eventually have to call the Police on them when their neighbour calls you? Or when you identify their body at the end and you realize what a total bloody waste of a life for someone who was a talented, kind and yet tortured soul. It’s easier to fix a broken leg than a broken mind.

No, this is not a blog on self pity. I don’t want sympathy. I want people to understand. When you throw terms like bipolar, schitzo or any similar term around – take a moment and think. There are people out there that those terms genuinely refer to and by using those words so casually and probably so flippantly it’s thoughtless. Mental illness is no joke. These people are suffering and you and I have no idea what is going on in their minds – what torment they suffer. There are probably people reading this blog who are going through this right now. So I ask that you to think before you speak. Don’t apply labels to anyone unless you understand what you are talking about. In essence – pull your head in.

Where to find help if you or your family or someone you know are suffering from Bipolar – some addresses below (many on the internet) or go your local doctor or hospital or Mental Illness Unit and talk to someone – get help – find understanding – don’t be alone.

http://www.reachout.com.au/default.asp?ti=71
http://www.bipolarmania.com/resources/faqs.jsp
http://www.bipolaraware.co.uk/

“Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but stigma and bias shame us all.” –Bill Clinton

www.amarindajones.com
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Two days to the weekend...

So, I pissed someone off today. No, not an unusual occurrence when I am asked to give an honest opinion. When I did, the person told me they weren’t happy with the opinion given. Well, hello? Why ask for one and why waste both of our times when you know honesty from me will be just that. I used to work with a bloke called ...er…Ben . I was a half arsed waitress and he was a cranky chef. In my waitressing experience most chefs are cranky and emotional but that could have to do with me being a crap waitress and doing stuff like inadvertently talking and waving a pen and order pad around, when I should have been working, and the pen flying from my hand and landing in this massive deep fryer. He got slightly ticked that he had to drain it and clean it in the middle of an evening shift. But other than that he was quite a intriguing man in a Heathliff sort of way…sigh…head slap…move on…so Ben…he used to say to me ‘why give an opinion when you know people don’t want honesty? Do you want honesty all the time?’ Well, as I pointed out to Heathcliff there are different types of honesty aren’t there? And I can’t stop myself from giving an opinion even though said opinion asker will cross me off their Christmas card list. What happened to Ben/Heathcliff? Ah…I tell myself he is married with 300 kids and completely happy. That’s a different type of honesty.

Anyway, off things that can never be…the opinion I gave was via email. Now this is always tricky as you have to word it correctly so not as to offend. Often, due to speaking fluent Aussie, some things I say come across the wrong way so I try and be careful but stuff happens. I got a stroppy email back saying basically I could stick my opinion in my ear – I would but there are so many others in there – and never email me again. Well the thing is I never emailed them in the first place. And it’s also hard to indicate the level of angst and pissed-offed-ness when you can’t see the person. I find people tend to retaliate more nastily by email because they can’t see you and words they would never say face to face just pour out…and that’s a good thing – spleen venting is cathartic and maybe venting by email should be a international sport. I think that will be another plank in my when I run the world platform.

So giving opinions is dangerous and yet some of the best opinions people have given me about myself have been absolutely brutal and terrible but bloody excellent and I have learned immensely from them. Opinions are hard to give and take. Is it better to shut up and nod and smile and say ‘ooh, that’s really lovely’ or say ‘hey, the emperor is butt ugly naked and what’s with all of you people saying he’s not?’ So, do you give opinions are not? Will I stop giving opinions? No…I need to write less Christmas cards anyway.

On opening my edits for Tantalizing Tilly the first comment in the margin was “AAAARRRGGGHHH!” Yes, I drive my editor mad. I have almost weened myself off the people are who and not that thing. I am a trial and a tribulation and I would have told me to piss off long ago if I was her. Beaucoup thanks Ed.
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An acquaintance and I were talking about various things and we got onto the topic of Gumby. How? Because of sex. Huh? Well he mentioned my blog from yesterday when I said something along the lines of ‘can a woman bend over backwards that far.’ Yes, yet another deep and meaningful conversation in life. Anyway he said that a female Gumby could of course bend over backwards. You know I have never thought of Gumby being female. Actually to be honest, I never thought of Gumby and sex in the same sentence. He said there would have to be female Gumbys to mate with the male ones. No, he’s normally relatively sane. I asked how could you even tell if a Gumby was male or female and to be honest why is it necessary to know unless you were another Gumby? He said 'There would be a way if you were another Gumby to tell as Gumby civilization would depend on it.' The conversation pretty much degenerated from there, as they do, when you’re talking trash. But think about it…are there lonely Gumby’s out there looking for their other rubber half?

Every so often this most dazzling man crosses my path and I think to myself maybe there is a god. You know the type I mean? You think - wow - sex on a stick and my hormones, which only react evilly once a month, suddenly go on red alert as they do in cases like this – that and when chocolate is on offer. Some men are just so very nice to look at.

By the way – for all those who asked is Mervina is an opossum – no she’s not. She is a fair dinkum Aussie possum. We have our own you know. We don’t import them - unlike the bloody cane toads - they can go back to where they came from with our blessing - nasty arsed little bastards.

Last night the government brought down the budget. It was the usual thing - some people hated and others loved it, while others were just confused. Myself? I looked at my pay slip today and the amount of tax that I pay and I though - hmmm...why am I working again? If it wasn’t for the fact I look terrible in orange and I suspect I would get sick of shaking a tambourine and I couldn’t live in a commune because I need my privacy and I don’t share – I would probably join some weird cult where no one works.

Best friend Ethel emailed me at work today – okay – no surprise there – we email all day – but she emailed to tell me someone was going to jump off the Gateway bridge and it had been closed to traffic. This is a major bridge across the Brisbane River dividing north and south and to close it means huge traffic problems. I mentioned the jumper to the queen of all that is boring and proper – this is the woman who has been in the same job for 100 years - and she said “Good, let him jump and kill himself.” No, she has no personality or life. I though for a moment that may have been a joke but for the fact she did not smile. When he did not die she was disappointed. I swear the woman has the caring and personality of a 3 week old dead fish.

Frig…has time suddenly sped up or what? I have no time to do anything anymore – you know what I mean – you’re in the same boat or in this case on the same treadmill. Someone again made the mistake of telling me how lucky I am that I don’t have kids and how unlucky they are – holy snapping ducks! I pointed out to this person that you make your choices in life – did someone put a gun to your head and make you get married and have kids? No? Well piss off and leave me alone. No one – I repeat – no one has time regardless who or what they are anymore. It’s not an exclusive right of those with kids. Okay – vent over….

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Saturday Soapbox...

Of late I have been reading and listening to people going on and on about whether George Clooney should be a UN Messenger of Peace. Why not? To be honest I didn't know much about the prejudice, drought, oppression and genocide in Darfur before George Clooney started talking about it. He has created a lot of awareness. When I read stuff about George Clooney and whether he is the right person to promote the UN and Peace, several thoughts occur to me. Yes, he is an actor – a Hollywood star – but I don’t see how that makes the man any less credible than anyone else. It’s almost like a reverse prejudice. Instead of being perceived as ugly and undesirable and therefore unsuitable for whatever, people wonder why this attractive man is going to the ugliness of Darfur. What is he to gain from it? An ‘in’ into politics? Is he trying to make himself look even better than he does? Why be so suspicious? The man wants to help. And everyone should be seen as someone who can promote peace. I admire people who go to the ends of the Earth to help those suffering what we cannot possibly imagine. I don’t care if he’s a movie star or the boy next door, if he is prepared to do something then I cannot see how we can question his credibility. I think some parts of society are too ‘star-struck’ and they can only see actors being a certain way - open to question and ridicule if they step outside the box. We have to get a global grip.

Want to learn more about Darfur? http://www.savedarfur.org/content - this is only one of the many sites on the internet. When you read it you realize how lucky you are.

Okay – that gets me on another track with the whole celebrity/perception thing. Is it just me or are you sick of hearing about who’s in rehab or having a mental breakdown in celebrity-dom? How is this news? The bottom line is these celebrities are still just people and they have the same problems that everyone else does except they are in the public eye. And yes, many times, it’s their choice to be in the public eye – but addictions, breakdowns and mental illness are nothing to be joking about. I don’t know if X is having a mental breakdown and frankly it’s not my business. Having lived with a family member who had bi-polar disorder, I know only too well the amazingly hard, emotional cost of mental illness. We will never know why people do what they do or how they feel about stuff or why they make the fatal decisions they make. We can never be in their mind – be they a celebrity or not. And let’s face it haven’t we all got enough demons of our own before we start judging or poking fun at someone else’s? Mental illness and addiction is not a joke and I point blank refuse to get caught up in the whole sensationalist crap.

Changing the topic completely…Ever wonder about ants? I find them fascinating. No, I don’t have an ant farm but I do have a lot of nests outside in the grass. They interest me as they are such the survivors and they never give up. Every time I mow the lawn I knock their ant houses down cutting the grass. The next day they are back at building them up. A freak rain storm flattens them and the next day, the ants are working at reconstruction. Birds peck at their nets trying to eat them, the nests get knocked down but back up they go again. That’s perseverance against the odds. Someone suggested I poison them as they ruin the look of the lawn. I’m not going to do that as how something looks does not worry me and how could I kill those little buggers when they have worked so hard? They’ll die eventually but not at my hand. I want to see if they start building a skyscraper or maybe a theme park next.

I believe angels would weep with joy, all wars would stop and peace would reign if everyone went out and got a packet of Tim Tam Crush ( particularly mocha hazelnut) as they would be caught up in an orgasmic rush that

other petty irritations would be cease to exist. These biscuits are better than sex. I suspect they won’t be out for long – just like the alcohol flavoured ones hit the market and disappeared when everyone was hooked. Speaking of alcohol, a recent survey in Queensland, my home state and paradise on Earth, showed that banana benders, as we are known, would prefer to spend less money on petrol (gas) but would not cut spending money on alcohol. See? You have to have your priorities right and you can’t drink and drive anyway.

A moment from - Unbreakable – warning - very adult excerpt

“You’re going to film this too?” Bloody hell was she going to end up on the internet like some sad-assed middle-aged wanna-be suburban porn star? “Two cameras?”
“I want to catch every moment.” Dash adjusted the camera tripods to make sure the angle was right on each. “This is for our exclusive use, darlin’. I want us to look back on this when we are old and gray.” He switched the cameras on.

“I’m already going gray and this is just one week of my life.” He made it sounded like a long term commitment.
“Is it India?” Dash sat down beside her on the bed and trailed his hand down her body. “You’re very beautiful and infinitely fuckable.”
“Well fuck me then and get this over and done with.”
Dash chuckled and reached into the drawer he pulled the satin ties from.
“You don’t want a quick shag and neither do I.”
Yeah, actually I do.
India looked at what he held in his hand. It was a silver bullet and not the kind used to kill werewolves. He was going to put that in her and even if she could stop him she knew at that moment she wouldn’t.
“How badly do you need to come, darlin’?” Dash’s hands went down to her pussy. One stroked between the curves softly while the other held the bullet. “You’re so deliciously wet.” He leaned forward and licked her clit. He smiled as India shrieked. “Did you like that?”
“Yes, oh God yes,” India writhed beneath his hand.
“Do you want me inside you?” Dash blew softly against the wet pink flesh.
India’s toes curled at the sensation.
“Yes, I need you now.” She did not care how needy she sounded. She just wanted Dash inside her.
“Maybe later,” he said as his fingers slid the bullet inside her and turned it on.
India closed her eyes as the vibrations started slowly. If he was trying to kill her, this was certainly the way she wanted to go.
“Open your eyes India,” Dash growled in command. “You need to see and know at all times what I am doing to you.” He ramped up the speed of the bullet.
“Oh God,” India moaned as a wild thrill of sensation shot through her body. She was so close to coming.
“Do you want to come?” Dash leaned forward and licked her clit again.
“Yes.” As he slowly tongued her she whimpered.
“Will you do anything I ask?” Dash looked up into her eyes.
“Anything.” India was so close to the edge of an orgasm that she would agree to whatever he wanted.
“Good to know.” Dash sat up and switched off the bullet’s controls.
“No, don’t stop now.” The bullet had stilled and yet India’s body was still teetering on the edge.
“I need a sandwich.” Dash stood up and walked away from the bed.
“You what?” she yelled at his back as he left the room.

Hmm…wonder what sort of sanger (sandwich) he had?

Anny has an intriguing excerpt on www.annycook.com.au and Kelly is discussing the many uses of lint on www.kkirch.blogspot.com. or maybe not...

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?