Got it...

Years ago when the movie The Bridges of Madison County first came out I watched it and thought, like many other women at that time, “Get out of the car and go to him. Don’t miss out on the love of your life.” When she didn’t get out of the car and she stayed with her husband and let probably the only man who would ever really know her go, I decided it was a dumb movie and I’d never watch it again. But I did, just recently, and being older and a tad wiser, I understood more what was going on. Just because you need somebody doesn’t mean they can ever be a part of your life. I get it. Life does not work out neat and pretty and you deny need because, at the time, despite the pain, it’s the right thing to do. Sometimes you can’t have the person you need. Life is not a happily ever after romance story. Maybe that's why we rely on the fantasy of them so much because the reality is hard. Yes, a profound thought considering there is no coffee in the house….

Random thoughts # 19108…a, b, c, d...

"I wonder if everyone realizes I'm just spewing my mental crap on the page..." author Willsin Rowe

Write what you know… a load of bollocks or a way of keeping people line? You know I can’t help but wonder how many of us have met or intrinsically know all about vampires, dragons, multi-partnered ménage, gay romance, BDSM or cowboys etc. I would hazard a guess and say not a lot. Writing is all about imagination, making up worlds and lying your arse off…really when you think about it if you acted that way in real life, out on the streets in the non-writer world, you’d get arrested or in trouble in a way you don’t want to know. So why do writers lie their arses off and make up stories? Why do people need to read about vampires et al falling in love? Yes, yes, you can talk about Mary Shelly and Frankenstein and how that has endured over time but is a sensitive werewolf in a ménage with a gay vampire and an oriental school marm with a powerful need for fetish, lesbian sex going to endure just as well? Hmmm…no. Have we lost the art of writing deep and meaningful stories due to quick fixes, pop psychology and easy money? Ah...yes…I believe we have. Do we want to find our way? Nup, too hard...reality detour this way...mind games to the left.

Inflating reality...

Message in my Facebook inbox today...

"Please like my fan page so that my book gets into the rankings on Amazon. I need 2500 likes. Post the link on your wall please."

That would be a no from me. I'm one of those crazy people who believe that readers should decide the fate of a writer. You want to inflate figures by driving others insane? Maybe you ought to consider being a politician. They succeed through non truths…

Writing – put it out there. People will hate it or like it. That’s the reality and all the ‘likes’ in the world ain’t gonna make you any better than you are as the superficial always wears off.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Why do we have to be attractive…

I was on the cross trainer aka instrument of torture at the gym this morning, reading a mag, so I wouldn't think about how I was on a cross trainer aka instrument of torture and I saw this line from an article - 'why do we have to be attractive'. It was talking about how women drive themselves mad about being thin, beautiful, sexy etc when in reality there is nothing wrong with them at all. That stopped me in my tracks until the machine beeped and reminded me I was pausing in thought when I should be torturing myself in the daily pursuit of fitness.

So yeah - why do we have to be attractive? Why do we put ourselves through torture...ok - I don’t. The Jones women are brought up to believe smart and mouthy will get you everywhere and confuse people into not considering the outer package. So why is so much pressure put on women to have no cellulite, firm skin, perky boobs, pouty lips, lose weight, increase muscle or whatever? Why can’t we just say "fuck off, I am who I am and if I'm not considered attractive by you then move yourself along because you’re too blind to see how fabulous I am and I am wasting my time on you, sunshine." See? I think that would work real well.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Huh? What?

Okay…I don’t understand. Maybe it’s the tail end of the cold from hell or maybe I’m not smart enough to understand the logic of making a list on a book site with you named as the list owner, for all to see, and then proceeding to list all your books as number one sellers or best buys? Is that not a tad bleeding obvious? Example of a list I saw....

Mary Jane Fizgig-Smith – list owner. Her list of favourite books or best sellers –

1. Do that and I’ll Scream by Mary Jane Fizgig-Smith
2. Suck Off by Mary Jane Fizgig-Smith
3. Blow by Blow Me by Mary Jane Fizgig-Smith

So, one can surmise Mary Jane Fizgig-Smith, owner of the list, likes her books. That’s great but how realistic is this list? Doncha' want actual readers to tell you what they think? Isn't that logical? Tagging books on Amazon or wherever I understand. People pick up things by tags but a list of books you have written that you like? What do you get out of that especially when people like me go up and see who made the list? If you can explain it to me and so far no one can seem to please email me – address at the side.

Oh and yeah – those fantastic book titles – have copyright…never know when I may want to use ‘Suck off.’

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

It just occurred to me...

...that I'm over romance and sex. What's that called? Oh yes - reality. Reality is good. I recommend it.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com

Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Contest...

Isn’t this a lovely cover? Honest to god, the Ellora’s Cave Cover Gods spoil me rotten. I always get exactly what I ask for. I love it. Big kiss to the Cover Gods.

Okay, I have unpacked – sorta – and I found a bunch of souvenirs from Cairns to give away. So first prize - randomly drawn winner - will have….

Aussie thongs (flip flops)
An Aboriginal design printed T-shirt – XXL
A bottle holder
Pretty pink baseball cap
A sparkly tumbler…I bought one for myself as well – love it
A Kuranda Skyrail frog pencil
Boomerang fridge magnet
Cairns key ring
Leather and bead friendship bracelet from Kuranda. I bought heaps of these – I love ‘em.
And I’ll chuck in some Amarinda stuff as well…

The questions –

1. The Hard Man cover – what is the most noticeable thing about this cover – can be one of many answers
2. Where was I on holiday for a week? (see above and below – starts with ‘C’)

So – contest ends Saturday 28th June at midnight (EST USA). First winner drawn at random wins the stuff…so give it a go. Email me the answers Amarinda_jones@yahoo.com.au

Back to work this cool, drizzly Monday morning...ah, reality….

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Pulp fiction...

So I was at the gym doing this exercise that was hard and painful on my thighs. Why was I doing it? Why am I doing anything of late? I really don’t know…I just am. Anyway, it’s an exercise where your hands are free so I grabbed a magazine and read that for 15 minutes while I tortured my legs. Two articles caught my attention –

1. Revenge Porn – you and your lover are filmed having sex. It’s supposedly a mutual, fun thing to do and you in theory love/are besotted with each other so it’s not like anyone is ever going to see your cellulite and his dangly bits but you two. But what if you break up and it’s really nasty? Apparently it is a big business to put personal sex tapes on the internet to teach you ex-lover a lesson. And it’s mainly men who do this. Somehow they get some thrill out of humiliating their ex-lover by showing her all naked and vulnerable to a world wide audience. I have to wonder at men like this. Surely the woman would feel the most humiliated just having everyone know she slept with such a spineless, small balled twit. The naked stuff would be easier to get over. I understand revenge but have some class about it. Putting it on the internet? I can’t see any woman ever wanting to date/sleep with a man who was found to have been obnoxious enough to do this…and did I mention it’s mainly men in their early twenties that are the culprits? Figures…

2. Writing your list for the perfect man. Huh? We need a list? How dumb is that? Besides, I don’t do lists. The best I can do is sticky notes which I tend to lose. I choose to believe I have a fantastic mind that recalls everything so why do I need a list? No, I don’t recall everything. If I did I wouldn’t lose the sticky notes with vital info on them. Anyway – all women – according to some magazine guru - are supposed to have a list of 10 attributes of “the man of their dreams.” I don’t have this list but then I tend to live in reality and not dreams. I don’t believe you can write down a grocery list of attributes for a man then go to aisle number 12 or 13 and find him, price tag him and take him home. No man is ever going to be everything you want in a man. It’s not possible so why limit yourself to what you think you want? Maybe something like a little quirkiness is good and maybe you left that off your list. Can you take a man back for an exchange or is he considered used? Hmmm, the magazine never mentioned this bit.

What worries me is people believe magazine psychology. There are no perfect people. Most people are only going to be 5 or 6 out of 10 on a ‘list’ and most times that’s okay and to think otherwise is idealistic and foolish. Perfection is vastly overrated. As for revenge porn - my belief is only complete and utter wankers do that. As for magazines – read ‘em but don’t believe ‘em.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Reality...does it work for you?

- reality is the poor man's drug. Want a head spin? Deal in real life dramas. That will get your mind whirling and you heart thumping and it costs nothing but maybe a brown paper bag to blow in if you are hyperventilating.
- want to walk on the wild side? Speak you mind and so what trouble it lands you in – trust me - lots

Someone sent me this quiz yesterday and the questions interested me. Go try it out - quiz. I am apparently 96% real according to this quiz. Now – this is not necessarily a good thing as 96% real gets me into 100% of trouble. So how real are you and is it better to be less real and live an easier life. Reality – does it work for you?

My God – Monday – can it get any realer? What's to love about about this god awfully pukeable day? A psychic once told me I needed to learn to spring out of bed every day because my life would change when I did. Oh please....this morning I caught the big toe of my left foot in the right cuff of my flanno pj's - don't ask how - I'm not sure - and I fell flat on my face in the shag pile rug on the floor in my bedroom. Spring out of bed? The best I can do is fall ouy and do no major harm. But it seemed apropos for a Monday.

I drove all the way to work thinking - turn around - flee, run, hide - it would have taken so little to turn Ida, my car around, as I sensed she would have been with me in whatever madcap thing I wanted to do. I think it's important to be one with your car. Anyway it was one of those Thelma and Louise moments but for the fact I’m not driving off any cliff for any reason. Anyway, I didn’t turn around - some good girl instinct kicked in – I hate that when it happens - and I did the go-to-work-thing. Yes, I know everyone hates Monday's and most people find their jobs pukeable and I get paid and the blue bird of happiness will probably swing by and free me from the crapiousness of my job as my prince on the white horse arrives with the glass slipper…yeah, I’m rambling. It’s Monday. I’m entitled.

I got whistled at today. I am in two minds about men who wolf whistle. Firstly I think grow up and are you taking the piss? (Aussie for pulling my leg) And secondly, against every rad fem instinct I have I think - really? Me? In my assassin black? On a Monday when I feel like death? That's attractive? Yes, life is a conundrum isn't? You think - how rude of you to whistle then you do the girl thing - gee me? Yes, I snapped out of it pretty fast. However I have this basic belief that because I am a woman I believe I am allowed to have conflicting opinions because genetically it's acceptable to balance out female hormones…and if you don’t believe that then shut up.

Mind you not that I would have taken said wolf whistler up on his offer. I have just got to the stage that I am not interested in taking up with any man because it all seems too difficult. I don’t follow up flirting or calls or moments because I like living alone. I thrive on it. I don't want to encourage any man. I have this measure of peace in being alone that outweighs other considerations. I guess it comes down to what price you will pay to be comfortable and at this stage no man has managed to match that and I expect won't because I'll suspect I will find reason to up the price so he can never compete. I believe some people are hopeless romantics - I am a hopeless realist. Hmm…a bit frigging deep for a Monday but there it is.

Someone is on the television right now talking about ‘numbers’ and how they can guide your destiny and that by following your numbers you can change you life. You know, it’s based on your birthdate etc and you only have to pay someone X amount of $$ to tell you how to live your life. By adding and subtracting you apparently get your ‘life lesson number.’ My theory – and it’s free - add up every hard lesson you have learnt in life, divide it by your shoe size and then get the ice-cream out of the freezer and eat it while counting your toes. I guarantee things will look better.

That’s it – short and sweet – like me – okay – the short bit is true. Monday – over and done with. When I rule the world I will abolish Mondays and we will all only work two days a week for the same pay. Now that’s my kind of reality.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?