Button up or pull on?

We had a drama at work today. It consumed most of the day which was excellent for me as I managed to get a lot of writing done during the crisis. It’s not that I am not interested in sharing a crisis, it’s just that I am just more interested in reading personal emails and getting my next book finished – but I digress. The drama was do we order button up or pull on shirts with the company logo? Yes, critical stuff this. Scoff it you will but my assistant is on the verge of a nervous breakdown over this.

So, here’s the scenario, the boss walks in and says to me you can order some work shirts. I love spending company money. I know the company credit card number off by heart – no I only use it for good I swear and I swear a lot. So I turned to my assistant, technically twenty years younger then me but I sometimes think I am dealing with an eighty-year old spinster aunt. We came to the colour choice quickly as I wanted black and I am a pushy bitch so I got what I wanted. Black is such a happy, slimming colour and I look good in it so there. I did not give a rat’s arse whether we had button up or pull on as in the end it’s just a work shirt. But not my assistant. Give her a choice and she will agonize for hours. I learned this with the Subway menu crisis last week. Don’t ask – let’s just say no one ate Subway that day as it all seemed too hard in the end. Anyway the crisis raged on all day – button up or pull on? In the end I lost conscious and tried to fake death so I did not have to listen to my assistant go on and on and on about it.

Did we choose button up or pull on? I chose pull on as it had the one important factor for me. I did not have to iron it. As for my assistant she could not choose so I expect even now as I write this she is at home agonizing over this. The moral of this story is some people should never be given a choice. Equality is an important thing but not when it comes to picking out company shirts.

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Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?