Whip me...

..and I’ll smack you in the chops. No seriously – if a man tied me up and did things to me, I swear to god the minute I was loose he’d be a dead man. And dominate me? Forget it. It ain’t gonna happen.

What am I rambling about? After I finished my gym training session with Hugh, I was talking to a friend on my mobile (cell phone) as I staggered to Patrick, my car, all hot, sweaty and red faced. She indicated that training was like a BDSM session with Hugh making me do impossible, hard, hot things that made me ache and sweat and moan…hmmm…this led us on to a discussion on the whole BDSM thing. While I respect some people are into the whole bondage-you-will-do-as-I-say-and-pain-is-pleasure thing – I don’t understand it. No, I don’t believe I’m a prude but I doubt – actually I know – I do not have a submissive bone in my body so BDSM strikes me as odd. Odd is not bad…generally I like odd… but this? Seriously?

Do you think allowing yourself to submit to the pain/pleasure thing is a strength? Or is it more of a need to be wanted and a chance to permit yourself to be out of control? Is it about trusting someone? Is it a power trip for the dominator? Or is it something they need to do to feel strong? Is showing weakness a good thing? Is it sexually titillating or sexually abusive? While is all seems rather tiring to me, it interests me why people do it and read it. I have never tried to write it. Oh sure, occasionally an Amarinda heroine gets herself tied up but on the whole I personally suck at being submissive so I can hardly write something I can’t do. But if you have the answers – let me know…and no, the Hugh thing is all about fitness and I call him a lot of bad names when he is training me so I’m still in control baby. That’s how I like it.

Lickety Split is released today at Ellora's Cave. It's part of the "Creamy" range of specialty books released by EC. Essentially it's about ice cream - how it brings people together and all the lovely, yummy things you can do with it.

The blurb...

What do sex and ice cream have in common? Waverly Astor is about to learn the hard way when she finds herself trapped in a freezer with the hottest hunk she has ever seen. Can lust compete with her true love of ice cream? Is having sex with the hard-bodied god a good idea when they have nothing but hot bodies in common?

Tor Arnett is more than happy to heat up Waverley’s life. She is sex on a stick and he wants to lick every part of her delicious body. The lady is most definitely willing. He has two things on his to-do list—catching a thief and sex with a beautiful woman. Not necessarily in that order.

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The abnormality of being normal…

Once more I have been blessed by the Ellora’s Cave cover gods with a beaut cover for Pet Me. It’s exactly – right down to the splashing goldfish in the bowl - what I asked for. Ask – specifically – and you generally get what you want in covers. What I love most about this cover are the smiles. They are just perfect for this story. It’s about a couple who meet and fight over a goldfish called Arthur. Why? It’s involved and kind of silly. What happens? Lot’s of stuff. It’s due out in April next year.

I did get a couple of comments about the man’s body – specifically his chest. One comment was “my boobs aren’t that big”. And the other “that’s not normal for a man.” Ah, I love it when people try to argue the perception of ‘normal’ with me. What is normal? Stuff all#. Are we all supposed to look the same? Have the same chest, boobage and arse per square inch? I don’t want to look like every other bugger^ on the planet. I’ve lived hard, messy and enjoyably to get this body. I don’t want to be perceived as normal. How bloody boring. “Normal” to me means that you are so preoccupied with worrying about fitting in and not thinking outside the box that you become boring. Hence – normal = boring. I have this bizarre notion that we should view people as actual people and not replicas of what we think is 'normal'. And, just throwing this out there, but we should also consider focusing on someone’s words or eyes or smile and not worry if they are a size 4 or have a body that every clone has.

Speaking of bodies and perceptions, I showed the Lickety Split cover – eyes left, pan down - to a male acquaintance. The model has a gorgeous body which I am sure he worked his arse off to get. Anyway this male said to me ‘that’s the body I want’ - no, not in a sexual way – in a way that only a dreamer does. Now, I don’t want to call him superficial – he is – but his life revolves around the way people look. How tiring is that? And the chances of him getting to look like Mr Lickety Split by wishing are Buckley’s* and none. It scares me what twaddle comes out of people’s mouths. Why wish for something that is not going to happen? Be happy that you’re healthy and employed and can put food on the table and pay the bills. A lot of people can’t and I bet they’re not worrying about how their body looks.

So, in summary – be abnormal and enjoy it. All the best people do.

# Stuff all = nothing
^ Bugger = in this case means person – though it is an amazingly flexible word that can mean almost anything in Aussie-speak.
*Buckley’s – Aussie expression – meaning Buckley’s Chance - meaning no chance. Who was Buckley? William Buckley (1780-1856), a convict who escaped in Victoria in 1803 and lived among the Aborigines there for 30 years (survival in the bush was reckoned no chance).
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Buckley's_chance

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Rambulations…chapter 67…

Stuff…

Here’s the cover for Lickety Split. It’s out early August. Isn’t he lovely…er, I mean isn’t the cover lovely? I’m most pleased with him…it…the cover…you know. What’s Lickety Split about? Well it’s about ice cream and all the lovely things you can do with it…and you can eat it as well.

And ‘struth – I also got a contract on the pure Aussie book I sent off. They said they wanted pure Aussie speak and characters so I took ‘em at their word – and stone the crows they said yes. I did put a glossary in so maybe that helped. Just think if you buy the book you’ll all be speaking true blue Aussie in no time, cobber, sheila, mate, Bruce. It’s just bonza.

Then - I got an email from someone who would not know if their arse was on fire. No seriously. You would have to tap them on the shoulder and say ‘excuse me but you’re bottom appears to be in flames. You may want to consider doing something about that.’ It made my so angry that I simply refuse to deal with it. Just say no to idiots is my theory. Breathe in breathe out…ignore the drongo.

Defibne me not...

· define - specify: determine the essential quality of
· define - give a definition for the meaning of a word; "Define `sadness'"
· define - determine the nature of; "What defines a good wine?"
· define - show the form or outline of; "The tree was clearly defined by the light"; "The camera could define the smallest object"
· define - specify: decide upon or fix definitely; "fix the variables"; "specify the parameters"

wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

I don’t get this need people seem to have of late to announce they are ‘defined’ or ‘need to be defined’ by something. What is that about?

- My job defines me
- He defines me
- I must find something to define my place in the universe.

I find the whole defining thing exhausting. When did we stop being our human, hazy, less than defined selves? Yes, I know it’s all about ambition and getting ahead and belonging to something that makes you feel good, smarter or the whole goals deal - but holy crap you can do all that without having to announce you have or will define yourself. All this specifying and determining and outlining your plans and goals and needs sounds painful. I worry that we are losing our characters and our quirkiness in the black and white world of defining. Why can’t we just continue to colour outside the lines and aim for okay or pretty good or wander into fantastic and be comfortable with that? Where has the surprise gone in life?

Maybe it’s just me but I like hazy, quirky people who lack definition and clarity and seem to stumble from one thing to another sometimes succeeding, sometimes failing. I like the whole human experience where people are less than perfect and just do the best they can without worrying about fitting in with the whole trend of finding definition. To my mind nothing or no one can define you. You are who you are. You are unique and I think that’s pretty damn good and nothing can beat individuality. Define me? I’m just fine as I am.

“I define nothing. Not beauty, not patriotism. I take each thing as it is, without prior rules about what it should be.” -- Bob Dylan

Damn straight Bob.

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Reporting in…

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

I wasted an hour and a half of my life today. How? I decided to do one of those pages – you know where you put photos, your blog and stuff so everyone can see it. After I had wasted time getting it up and running I got an email saying my photos – my book covers – see left had all been deleted as they were pornographic. Uh huh. I cancelled my account that I had just set up as I will not be censored – simple as that. These covers are on my website and my blog. These covers are on publisher websites. And yes, you are correct – this ‘page’ place had a right to their rules. I just find it funny one set of rules apply to new account holders but not the old. I emailed politely back and told them to stick it in their ear. They sent me an email back with a generic FAQ letter in the body of the email. Well FAQ you too.

Not much else to report….I spent time chatting to some online friends about books, blogs, star signs and past loves. Oh god – totally depressed myself on the last one. There is always one you never forget no matter what isn’t there? I also realized I have not eaten chocolate in a month. No wonder I am dizzy and light headed. It’s just wrong to deny yourself the stuff you love.
What else…put the washing on the line – took the washing off the line. It remains in the laundry basket until I can’t find any clean knickers and then I will eventually fold it. Yes, how glamorous life is. To fold knickers now or later – that is the question.

In the works…

Just about to send off a manuscript to my stoic editor - so we’ll see if that comes good in several weeks. ‘Got my signed contract back for Lickety Split. It’s a book that will be out next year with Ellora’s Cave. It’s part of the Creamy special. What’s it about? Ice cream and sex. Need I say more? Also the vampire book I mentioned a couple of weeks ago got a contract with EC as well. What’s it about? Vampires and sex. Hmmm…I sense a common theme here….

Review…

Micah Blue is a fun and totally absorbing novella that had me continually grinning throughout. Micah, unbeknownst to her, has a demon visiting her in her dreams. But she'd rather have the real thing or in this case, Ned. The demon isn't amused and determined to make Micah his. The dialogue between the characters entertained me with their banter and quick wit, making them memorable, and in the case of Micah and Ned, lovable characters. The love scenes are seriously hot and likely to singe. This is a wonderful story and one that will have me checking out other books by Amarinda Jones.
http://theromancestudio.com/reviews/reviews/micahbluejones.htm

Thought for the day…

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

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Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?