In your face…

I got a chance to subtlety say to someone today - in your face. Is that something non-Aussies say? It means to us 'ha, frigging ha, you were wrong.' It's a good feeling. What happened? A while ago a person who had some limited power tried to make me feel inferior. This person made a determined move to smack at my self esteem and try to make me feel less about myself. I didn’t work of course because I'm not about to play that game. I'm not about to have my confidence kicked at by someone that doesn’t know me and wants to keep me under their thumb for their own reasons. The thing is I am fairly sure this person is successful at doing that to others. I have heard the stories. Anyway I got my chance to let this toe-rag know in a big, yet subtle way that they were dead wrong and why – complete with pictures. I think it’s always good to have a visual don’t you? The toe-rag’s response? None. Well what can you say when someone refuses to play your game and then turns around and proves to you what a manipulative sod you are? People like this need to learn they cannot bully others. It makes my blood boil to think other people are treated like crap by this person. Yeah, it is up to the individual to be treated with respect and not accept crap but we all know there are some people feel who feel helpless. Problem is of course, these people prey on them. It's wrong and they need an arse kicking. However it felt good to say in your face – and I may have done the happy dance afterward. Fuck with me? I think not.

I was on my morning walk this morning and I saw this sticker of a near naked woman on the back window of a car. She was in profile, her arms behind her back supporting her body with her ridiculously perky boobs thrust out…actually they looked like they could take an eye out. Her legs were wide apart and her pelvis was off the ground. Hmmm…now come on…what woman can do that for any length of time? Have you tried it? Go on do it…I’ll wait while you do……..see how hard it is? What grown man in his right mind with some basic knowledge of anatomy could expect a woman to keep up that pose without helping her? Of course the car must have belonged to a rev-head twenty something dipstick who probably thought women were all bendable like Barbie. The thing that amuses me is that when this boy finally meets a woman and expects her to do that pose she will laugh her arse off. In some ways I always feel sorry for these boys as it’s gonna’ be a bloody hard lesson for them.

From author Madison Blake….

I'm running a contest in celebration of my upcoming release Love in Mysterious Ways on October 1 from Ellora’s Cave.
Prize: One download of Love In Mysterious Ways

Mechanics: A drawing will be held at midnight on October 1, 2008 and the winner will be announced on October 2 at the Ellora's Cave Chat yahoogroup (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ellorascavechat) and my newsletter in October 2008.

What you need to do: Just join my yahoogroup (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thelovechronicle/ ) between now and midnight of October 1. Easy, right? All members--existing and new--stand a chance to win. So, spread the word and get your friends to join!

The group is a very low volume mailing list--quarterly newsletters--and I'm hoping to be able to hold a different contest with each newsletter. So, see you there!

Thanks and good luck!

I will have a book to give away myself tomorrow – Micah Blue. It will be a really hard question….not. Check in tomorrow to have a chance to win

Rose Perfect by moi…woman with a broken toe meets a time traveler and tries to stop her best friend ruining the future with her revolting boyfriend…after that, why wouldn’t you want to read on? Click on the cover…isn’t it the prettiest cover…to buy


Rosanna Harlow was drunk. Not falling down, gut spewing drunk though. More like happy, glowing, in love with the world tipsy. The sort of tipsy that made her cheeks glow red and her green eyes dance with happy enthusiasm. Tomorrow, of course, her face would be pale and her eyes red but that was okay. It was New Years Eve 2005. Rosanna had a lot to celebrate. She had no job and no man in her life. Add to that a broken big toe, from her latest renovating disaster and the fact that she was in debt up to her eyeballs and she was doing just swell, thank you very much. Rosanna Harlow’s life was just one big celebration of madness. She was glad to farewell 2005. As far as Rosanna was concerned, 2005 had been crap. She could not wait to see the back end of the year. Queen Elizabeth, the second, had had her annas horribilus. Rosanna Harlow, the first, was happy to drown 2005 in alcohol.
“Woo hoo!” Rosanna howled at the moon as she staggered around the backyard pool with a glass of champagne in one hand and a ridiculous shiny green party hat perched jauntily on her head. No one at the crowded party noticed her specifically. Everyone else was in varying shades of alcoholic happiness and having just as good a time at the party. It was the second one she and her best friend Prue had attended that night. They would go home soon and collapse. But for the moment Rosanna felt invincible, broken toe and all. She laughed out loud as Prue echoed her call.
Rosanna heard beeping and reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out her mobile phone. She squinted down at the display. “I have a message.” She announced out loud just because she could. Prue cheered drunkenly. Rosanna smiled as she accessed her message with uncoordinated fingers. “Archer? Who the hell is Archer?”
“William Tell was an archer.” Prue informed her in a drunken slur as she barely missed stumbling into the pool she was drunkenly trying to navigate her way around.
“William Tell left me a message?”
“Actually, I think he’s dead.”
Rosanna looked at Prue. “Why would a dead man send me a message?”
“Maybe he’s lonely.” Prue laughed out loud at her own inane comment.
“You’re drunk.”
“As a skunk.” Prue slumped down on a nearby deck chair.

www.amarindajones.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AmarindaJonesNewsletter/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

In the lap of the Gods…

I realized I’ll have to start thinking what I want on the cover of my latest contracted book – Penned Again. This is, of course, a good situation for a writer to be in so it’s not a chore. What’s Penned Again about? I have yet to write a blurb but basically it’s about a three hundred demon, Penn Ripley, who married a mortal woman, Arlo, without her knowing his real identity. Naturally she was a tad pissed off when she found out the truth. They split up. Six months later Penn is back. Why? It’s all to do with a bet. Now I just have to put that into blurb speak.

Anyway what makes a good cover? I have to admit I am pretty flexible when it comes to cover requests. You get this form that you fill out and send away. It’s all about what you would like and how you see your characters. You can ‘suggest’ how the cover could look but there are no guarantees as to what you get. This does not bother me as I have been very lucky with the Ellora’s Cave Cover Gods. I appreciate their time and talent. Am I sucking up? Nah, ‘cause I suspect it wouldn’t work anyway. So you send off the cover
request once your Editor has checked it to make sure you can spell your own name correctly and you haven’t written something dumb on the form – for example – for my last cover request, for Anyone But You, I wrote under “Possible symbols or items that could be included on the cover” – ‘a purple person.’ My Editor emailed back and said a ‘purple person?’ Being the wise women she is she had read the story and knew, that unlike author Anny Cook’s novels, there were no purple/blue people in the book. We did however wonder how a reader would look at the cover and think “The two people in a clinch I get, but the purple person watching them? What’s that about?” And how disappointed would they be if they bought the book expecting a ménage with a purple person and there were only two people and a purple diary. See, this is why writers need Editors. Writers are rarely ever logical.

So, after you make suggestions – half naked, fully naked, do what you like as long as he has a tatt, I’m sure I’ll love it – those are my real life, general suggestions to Coverland – you get the cover

back. I have never been disappointed. But then I do not have a rigid belief in how my cover should look and therefore no other will do - foot stamp, angst ridden pout. I don’t have to have the hero holding the heroine on an alpine mountain top with the early morning sun highlighting, on a ninety degree angle, the blue-blackness of his hair while the heroine’s porcelain-like left hand is placed three-quarters, no more, along his muscular arm. Her fingers nails do not have to be persimmon pink, her bottom lip does not have to look like its quivering nor does her eye shadow have to be a particular shade of Rimmel - and how would I know if a cover model has size 34C breasts or not when they are squashed against the hero’s naked but not hairy chest? The doves that are flying in the background do not have to look like they were trained in the Himalayas by the monks, nor do the sheep you can barely see have to be merinos from the New South Wales Highlands. I do not ask for the impossible or improbable. As for the title and my name – as long as they are spelt correctly, I am good to go. Just give me a cover that people will be attracted to and want to buy the book. I

trust the Coverlandians to do this. They’re professionals. They know what they are doing. Pouting because your expectations are not met is your problem, not the cover departments. I think sometimes authors need to remember that ‘suggested’ means just that and expectations are sometimes a little too high faluting. As always, feel free to comment.

Eternity contest…nah, I don’t have the “My Darling…” line but someone does. Are you playing along? No? You’ve been on another planet? Welcome back. There is still time – just trawl through the sites below and find the line.

What could you spend an eternity doing? What is your passion? Your hunger? Your deepest desire? Each day beginning February 5 and running through February 14 one of the ten authors will complete the line, "My darling I could spend eternity…" on either their blog or website. Collect all ten answers and e-mail them to
anny@annycook.com with Eternally Yours in the subject line to win some hot, romantic books. There will be three lucky Valentine winners.

The prizes –

1st prize--5 books

2nd prize--3 books

3rd prize--2 books

The books

Sandra Cox Silverhills
Mona Risk To Love a Hero
Brynn Paulin Tribute For the Goddess
Bronwyn Green Mystic Circle
Cindy Spencer Pape Stone and Earth
N.J. Walters Seduction of Shamus O’Rourke
Elyssa Edwards Mating Stone


Amarinda Jones Shades of Gray
Kelly Kirch Time for Love
Anny Cook Honeysuckle

Entries must be in by February 16 at midnight EST. All books and prize winners will be drawn randomly.

Remember to check out Anny on www.annycook.blogspot.com and Kelly on www.kkirch.blogspot.com – they’re always up to something interesting and if they’re not – check out the blogs to the left.

Quote for today....

To err is human, but it feels divine--Mae West

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Saturday Christmas ramblings…

Ghosts…

G –I am the ghost of Christmas future, Amarinda Jones.
A – Uh huh…
G – You aren’t alarmed by my presence?
A – Its 4am in the frigging morning. Maybe after I have three cups of coffee I’ll have a go at being shocked, okay?
G – I have come to show you the future, Amarinda.
A – You know, all things considered I would rather just wing the future. Whatever happens, happens.
G – But aren’t you interested to know how your present affects your future?
A – Only so far in knowing if Ethel, Katie and I win the lotto super draw next Saturday
G – What about the past?
A – Ach! Too many mistakes - but they’re over and done with and I have moved on
G - Well, I gotta tell you this is disappointing.
A – Are you sure you have the right house? Maybe you were supposed to lob into a house with someone who worries about that kind of stuff
G – No, your name is on the list under ‘incorrigible - must mend her ways’. So, the whole Christmas-another-year-is-nearly-over-what-have-I-done-with-my-life-thing doesn’t bother you?
A – Nah, can’t sweat over the stuff I have done or what I will do in the future
G – This is embarrassing. I am supposed to scare the crap out of you and make you a better human being. How am I going to explain this at head office?
A- Hey, you can’t be scary all the time. It’s too much pressure on you. Let it go. I’ll tell you what ghost boy, if anyone asks I’ll say you were ultra scary and I’m mending my ways. Want a Tim Tam?

Ghosts…demons… past mistakes, current mistakes…move on…don’t let ‘em scare you


It makes you think….

As many people do, I sponsor a child overseas. M is now 14 and lives in Bangladesh. We write letters back and forward. Every time I sit down to write a letter I stop and think – what to write? This is a young woman who lives a completely different life to what I do. She does not have the advantages I have. She is just happy to go to school, have access to books and be with her family. It makes me stop and think every time. As much as I love mod cons and all the amenities and possibilities I have access to, M makes me think about how lucky I am. I think we need constant reality checks like this to realize our lives are pretty good and the petty trivialities we whine over are nothing. So what does a western, erotic romance writer write to a young woman in the third world? Simple things – stuff that is just about life and living in Australia. It’s simple and nice and I like to take the time to be just plain old Amarinda stripped of gloss and down to the bare bones of being a person. Thanks M.

Christmas in Australia…

...it’s bloody hot mate. Despite the heat, some people still follow the traditional Christmas dinner of roasted turkey or pork and plum puddings. Not this little red duck. The Jones family will barbeque on the patio in the shade with a glass or seven of something cold and fermented. We will throw prawns(shrimp) on the barbie and basically relax. We’re not fancy people. We are as you find us. We do not eat ourselves into a food coma as that is just sad and wasteful. Other Aussies will head to the beach or the bush. It’s a time for sunscreen, sundresses and shorts. Lifeguards will warn people to swim between the flags on the beaches as they watch for sharks in the sea. The police will be on the roads catching those people stupid enough to drive drunk or drugged. Kids will play cricket in the park or ride brand new bikes around the neighbourhood. Christmas in Oz is simple and casual. Australia – I love it.

Themes at Christmas…

I went shopping for sundry bathroom items this morning – toothpaste, dental floss, toilet paper and hair conditioner. I got to the check out and the check out chick said “It’s great they make it to fit the Christmas theme.” I looked at her blankly as I had no idea what she meant. She continued, “I like to match my toilet paper to fit the occasion.” I looked down at the pack I had grabbed off the shelf without thinking. I guess it looked Christmassy but to tell you the truth I don’t agonize of what pattern is on my dunny paper. But it was important to this woman. Fair enough. If it makes her happy – what the hell.

The comp…

The competition is closed. The winners will be announced soon. It has been a very interesting and enjoyable experience thanks to all those people who entered. We greatly enjoyed and appreciated your comments. We look forward to bringing another similar competition in 2008.

A Rose Perfect moment…

Rosanna Harlow was drunk. Not falling down, gut spewing drunk though. More like happy, glowing, in love with the world tipsy. The sort of tipsy that made her cheeks glow red and her green eyes dance with happy enthusiasm. Tomorrow, of course, her face would be pale and her eyes red but that was okay. It was New Years Eve 2005. Rosanna had a lot to celebrate. She had no job and no man in her life. Add to that a broken big toe, from her latest renovating disaster and the fact that she was in debt up to her eyeballs and she was doing just swell, thank you very much. Rosanna Harlow’s life was just one big celebration of madness. She was glad to farewell 2005. As far as Rosanna was concerned, 2005 had been crap. She could not wait to see the back end of the year. Queen Elizabeth, the second, had had her annas horribilus. Rosanna Harlow, the first, was happy to drown 2005 in alcohol.
“Woo hoo!” Rosanna howled at the moon as she staggered around the backyard pool with a glass of champagne in one hand and a ridiculous shiny green party hat perched jauntily on her head. No one at the crowded party noticed her specifically. Everyone else was in varying shades of alcoholic happiness and having just as good a time at the party. It was the second one she and her best friend Prue had attended that night. They would go home soon and collapse. But for the moment Rosanna felt invincible, broken toe and all. She laughed out loud as Prue echoed her call.
Rosanna heard beeping and reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out her mobile phone. She squinted down at the display. “I have a message.” She announced out loud just because she could. Prue cheered drunkenly. Rosanna smiled as she accessed her message with uncoordinated fingers. “Archer? Who the hell is Archer?”
“William Tell was an archer.” Prue informed her in a drunken slur as she barely missed stumbling into the pool she was drunkenly trying to navigate her way around.
“William Tell left me a message?”
“Actually, I think he’s dead.”
Rosanna looked at Prue. “Why would a dead man send me a message?”
“Maybe he’s lonely.” Prue laughed out loud at her own inane comment.
“You’re drunk.”
“As a skunk.” Prue slumped down on a nearby deck chair.
Rosanna giggled and shook her head. She squinted down at the display again. “I’ll meet you 1st January 2006—caller Archer time 11:58pm date 31/12/2048” 31/12/2048? What? Someone was calling her from the year 2048? Ah huh. Either her mobile was on the fritz or she needed to stop drinking now. Preferring to think her mobile was the problem she slipped it back into her the pocket of her jeans and staggered over to follow Prue. The effects of the alcohol and the pain of her toe were finally starting to register. Okay, maybe there was something to be said for not mixing pain medication with alcohol. She slumped beside her friend on a neighboring chair.

Hmmm…what happens next?

Anny – www.annycook.blogspot.com and Kelly – www.kkirch.blospot.com are on the road traveling to loved ones at the moment. So keep checking their blogs as I am sure they will have some riveting insights about Christmas. As always the blogs to the left provide a great look at real people and the stuff that happens to them.

May your toilet paper always match your mood

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Monday stuff...

I have been off work today as I am dreadfully ill...okay, I’m not I just decided I needed the day off – so much so in fact that I am taking tomorrow off as well. I feel terrible about it naturally.

As I am normally never home during the week. I have learned quite a bit being home today. First up, a mad drummer practices for at least two hours somewhere close by. I have to ask - how hard is it really to play the drums? After two hours it didn’t sound any better or worse from when he started. And, it has to be a man as no woman would waste time making loud noises for two hours. She would have made them for two minutes, got what she wanted then stopped. Second, I discovered I can do the splits. Yes, I was quite amazed. I was downstairs in the laundry and I slipped on something wet and whooska! I did the splits. It’s not something I believe is a marketable talent (unless you do porn movies I guess) but hey, I can do them – the splits – not the movies.


Thirdly, Ethel hates to be the only one of us at work and believes it’s not fair if I’m not at work as well. This is a woman who normally works 4 hours to my 8 hours a day. She messages me each day after work to tell me she is home in her pjs at 3 pm drinking wine, rubbing it in like the good friend she is. Yes, my heart bleeds for her today…not. The other thing I find interesting is my street is so quiet. Everyone could be dead or transported away by aliens and I would never know. But that’s okay as quiet suits me…though I would be a little pissed off if aliens came, looking for intelligent life, and at least did not knock on my door to offer me the invite – but then if it was after 9pm at night I ignore all communication anyway.

Manners…what do they mean to you?

Today I got an email that said “I want this, so do it.” There was no ‘Hi’ or ‘please’ or ‘thanks.’ It was ‘just shut up and do what I want.’ Of course that is a guarantee that I will do the exact opposite. I cannot stand people who do not have the manners to say please or thank you. It costs nothing to say and you actually get more stuff when you
do say them. I am one of those annoying people, please don’t be shocked, that will correct people’s manners. If I hold a door open for someone coming behind me and they do not say thank you I will say it for them – loudly – so everyone hears, this then embarrasses the person into saying thank you. I do not expect everyone to have prefect speech or pronunciation but I expect manners. So what happened to them? Are there people having kids out there but not teaching them simple things like manners? It’s a sorry state of affairs where swear words are common place but manner aren’t.

Kelly has the blog serial today along with her week of penance for chopping Australia in half on the world map. Check her out on www.kkirch.blogspot.com. Anny has author Kathleen Coddington and her latest book Witch Ball on www.annycook.blogspot.com.

Other blogs of interest –

http://vampsmut.blogspot.com/ - will Dakota share her ‘research’ with us?
http://brynnpaulin.blogspot.com/ - Will Brynn still have the same amount of children and how many loads of laundry did she do?
http://bronwyngreenblog.blogspot.com/ - Did the cats pick the kids up after school?


Coming soon to a blog near you…

Do you want to win some fantastic holiday reading? If so come celebrate the Twelve days of Christmas with 12 authors from Ellora’s Cave, Total-E-Bound and Cerridwen Press. Each day beginning December 8th and running through December 20th each one of the twelve authors will leave a clue as to what their “True love gave to me” on either their blog or website. Collect all twelve answers and go into the drawer to win some great books.

There will be three lucky winners.
The prizes –
1st prize--6 books
2nd prize--4 books
3rd prize--2 books

Which 12 fabulous authors will be giving away books? I am glad you asked - Kelly Kirch, Sandra Cox, KZ Snow, Barbara Huffert, Anny Cook, Heather Hiestand, Jacqueline Roth, Cindy Spencer Pape, Bronwyn Green, Brynn Paulin, Lacey Thorn and me – Amarinda Jones

All books and prize winners will be drawn randomly. For more details visit www.amarindajones.blogspot.com, www.annycook.blogspot.com or www.kkirch.blogspot.com on 6th December 2007. On that date all particpating blogs or websites will be listed.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Sunday stuff...

So, I was talking on line to my blog partners Kelly and Anny about what to write for a blog. I was going to rabbit on as normal about Sunday stuff but Kelly suggested the following items to discuss, I am sure as a throw away thing, but what the hell…

Toys – well, we all know Christmas is coming. One year many moons ago, I worked as a causal staffer in a major retail store. I was part of what they called ‘the flying squad.’ This was a bunch of staff members who could work in any department as they were greedy for money and so full of bull they could sell anything to anyone. Though, I personally think I was there due to my charm. Anyway, one Christmas I was called in to work in the toy department on the day Santa Claus made his grand entrance to the store. OMG – what a frenzy! Feral children everywhere, parents pushing and shoving to get the latest toy for their ankle biters and the staff members having to at one stage sit of the counters to avoid being crushed. Yes, the true spirit of Christmas.

The purpose of the cock ring – to be honest I have never seen a cock wear a ring. Where exactly would it go? Roosters as far as I understand have talon feet so am wondering how effectively a ring would stay on one of those talons when they are scratching around in the barnyard. And is it just the cocks or do the hens wear rings? It’s certainly an intriguing question.

Collection of the oddest jobs (like the person who as to name the colors in a carpet sample) - Never had to name colour samples though I am sure I would be good at that – Pukeable brown, vomitose orange, regrettable lime. Never had any odd jobs. I did once get offered a waitress job where at the end of the interview he said “You wouldn’t have any objection to being topless would you?” I said “No, not as long as you don’t mind having your testicles cut off and stapled to your ears.” He had an issue with this and no, I did not get the job.


The benefits of yogurt – I love and adore low fat cheesecake yogurt. The benefits? Well, I like the taste and all the active bacteria within is supposed to be good for your gizzards – though have you ever noticed when they announce things like “Red wine is good for you” two months later after you have been sculling red wine they then announce “red wine is bad for you.” They do it all the time – “eat chocolate, but don’t”, “coffee is good but you will die if you keep drinking it.” Frigging hell. My theory is we are all going to die. If you are happy doing what you are doing then what the hell

Postulating on the benefits of living in a tree. I love trees. I have a ginormous melaleuca tree in my backyard. It’s the tea tree with the papery bark. Beautiful tree. When I was traveling in the US many moons ago, we were all dragged out very, very early one morning to see the world’s biggest sequoia tree at Yosemite. I can tell you a bunch of hung-over Aussies who cannot see clearly at 4am in the morning aren’t impressed by a tree. We all looked at it and went – uh huh, that it? I, of course, get the significance now, though still not at 4am in the morning after a hike.

If Nessy really ever existed – sure, why not? I exist, you exist, why can’t a big-arsed swimming dinosaur be swimming around Loch Ness? I went to Loch Ness and took the obligatory photos. I saw nothing but that does not mean Nessy is not swimming around doing his or her thing. Let Nessy be. If he wants to be found he will.

Sunday….
- writing the next book – sex, romance, opposites attracting despite loathing each other.
- broke the diet – because I could and I am blaming author Barbara Huffert for putting the idea of ice-cream into my mind. I am too pure to have thought of it myself.
- mowed the lawn because the mowing pixies do not come when I summon them – little bastards
- walked around in shorts and a bra all day as hot and steamy – the weather not me…though sometimes...
- Discussed boobs, contests, caves, psychology, men, public sex, frogs - amongst other things with Anny and Kelly

As you know, the blog serial taxes our brains so we rest them on Sunday. However on www.annycook.blogspot.com, Anny as always will fascinate and intrigue you while Kelly on www.kkirch.blogspot.com will have you wondering about her sanity…I mean her wisdom. Visit their blogs and please write cryptic comments in made up names.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?